What to talk about: topics for any conversation

A pause in a conversation is scarier than an awkward phrase. It seems that the other person is right now deciding whether you are a boring person or not. In reality, silence is almost never read as a verdict — it is read as a pause. The problem is not the lack of topics, but that we look for the «ideal» topic instead of the next one.

Why a conversation stalls

Three reasons that occur most often.

The first — you are looking for a topic, not a hook. People rarely expect a new topic from you. They expect you to pick up what has already been said: «you said you moved — how's the neighborhood?». This is a conversation, not an exchange of pre-prepared monologues.

The second is closed-ended questions. “How are you?” and “How was your weekend?” give you permission to answer “fine” and end it. An open-ended question includes a detail: “What was the most unexpected thing about your weekend?”.

The third is the fear of seeming boring. It makes you speak faster and more, and the other person doesn’t have time to get a word in. A conversation dies not from silence, but from the absence of pauses that one can enter.

Four levels of topics — from safe to personal

Topics differ not by “interestingness” but by depth. Jumping straight to personal topics is the most common mistake when getting to know someone.

Level	What it is	Examples
1. Situation	what is visible right now	place, road, food, weather, surroundings
2. Facts	what a person is doing	work, city, studies, hobbies, trips
3. Opinions	what a person thinks	tastes, preferences, “what surprised you”
4. Experience	what a person has experienced	stories, mistakes, decisions, plans

The rule is simple: move one level at a time. Jumping from level 1 to 4 (“so what do you actually want from life?”) in the first five minutes of conversation is almost always awkward.

Topics for specific situations

With a girl or a guy

• What stood out from your last trip or weekend
• What place in the city do you like, and why
• What have you watched or read recently — and what stuck with you
• Is there something you want to do but never get around to
• What annoys you at work and what, on the contrary, do you like
• What food is “yours,” the kind you always come back to
• Plans for the coming month: a trip, an event, a purchase

With a friend (male or female)

• What's new at work or in your studies
• What are you thinking about most right now
• What good happened this week — even a small thing
• Where do you want to go next year
• What have you rewatched or reread, and why did you come back to it
• Which habit turned out to be useful and which one useless

With parents

• What has changed in their house or yard
• Stories from their youth — specific ones, not “how people used to live”
• What they do to relax
• Asking for help or advice is also a conversation, and it matters to parents
• Shared plans: a trip, renovation, a celebration

With a child

• What was the funniest thing of the day
• Who they played with and what they played
• What would he do if he were an adult for a day
• Which story did you like most
• What went better today than yesterday

With colleagues

• What is the hardest thing in the project right now (no complaints — just a fact)
• What have you learned over the past month
• Which tool or habit actually saves time
• What is planned next in the team
• What do they do outside work — one question, no interrogation

Over the phone

• «What is going on with you right now?» — opens up more than «how are you»
• A specific event you know about: an exam, a meeting, a trip
• Something you saw or learned recently — a short 30-second story
• A question about weekend plans

How to start a conversation

The opening is almost always structured according to one of three patterns:

1. Observation. «Is there always such a queue here?» — it works because it relies on shared context.
2. Admission. «It's my first time here, I don't know what to choose» — honesty reduces tension better than wit.
3. Question with a detail. «How do you manage to keep up with two projects?» — instead of «how's work?».

A universal phrase that almost never causes rejection: «Tell me, how did you get into this?» — it opens up a story, not a monosyllabic answer.

How to keep the conversation going when the topic runs out

Three techniques that work in any conversation.

1. Clarifying details. In any answer there is a word you can latch onto: “on Thursday,” “for the first time,” “had to.” Just ask a question about it.

2. Paraphrasing in your own words. “So you had to redo everything in two days?” — the person feels heard and keeps talking.

3. An exchange, not an interrogation. After asking a question, answer it yourself too: “And how was it for you? Once I…” A conversation is ping-pong, not an interview.

If there’s absolutely nothing to talk about, ask about something the person has already said. That works better than any new topic.

How to end a conversation without awkwardness

Leaving a conversation is as much a part of the skill as entering it. Three safe formulas:

• With gratitude and specifics: «It was interesting to hear about X — I didn't know it could be like that».
• With a plan: «I'm heading off, I need to make it before closing. Have a good evening!»
• With a follow-up: «Let's come back to this later — I'll message you this week».

An abrupt exit without a word reads as dissatisfaction, while a short formula closes the conversation respectfully and without explanations.

Frequently asked questions

What should you talk about if you don't know the person at all?

Start with what surrounds you both: the place, the event, the occasion for the meeting. Then move on to facts — what the person does, where they are from. Leave personal topics for later: they open up on their own when trust appears.

What should you do if the conversation isn't flowing?

Don't look for a new topic; clarify what has already been said. “You mentioned X — how was it?” works better than changing the topic. If that doesn't help either, the conversation may simply not be needed — that's normal.

Which topics are better not to bring up?

Politics, religion, money in specific amounts, personal relationships of third parties, health and appearance. If a topic comes up on its own, don't develop it — steer the conversation to something neutral.

How to stop being afraid of pauses?

A pause is perceived as a failure only by those involved in it. At that moment, the interlocutor is most often thinking about their answer. It is enough not to fill the silence with apologies — counting to three in your head usually restores calm.

What to talk about on the phone if you haven't spoken in a long time?

Start with a specific event you know about: “I heard you had a defense — how did it go?”. General questions like “how are you” in such a situation produce general answers.

How to train the conversation skill?

Through practice in a safe environment: say a dialogue out loud, analyze where you lost the thread, and repeat. In HintMeTalk AI for this, there are “Coach” and “Communication Master” modes — you can choose a scenario for meeting someone or talking with a loved one.

What's next

Take three topics from the list and try one of them in your next conversation — not all at once. Skill grows from repetition, not from reading lists. If you want to practice a specific situation — meeting someone, talking with a loved one, a difficult topic — run it through in the simulator: there you can choose a scenario and get feedback after the dialogue.

For more in-depth work, you may find useful the article on small talk and active listening breakdown. And if an interview is coming up — start with interview preparation.