What to talk about on the phone: topics if you haven't talked in a long time

The phone removes what usually saves a conversation: facial expressions, pauses, shared context. What remains is the voice and the silence you want to fill. Hence two extremes — talking nonstop or awkward silence.

Why it's harder on the phone

There's no shared context. In an in-person meeting, the topic comes from the surroundings. On a call, you have to bring it with you.

Pauses are audible. Two seconds of silence on the phone feel like ten: the person on the other end can’t see that you’re thinking.

There’s no way to walk away. The conversation has to be ended with words, not action — and that’s a separate skill.

What to say at the beginning

• The reason for the call. “I’m calling to find out about X” — immediately clears up the uncertainty.
• Context about yourself. One sentence about what’s going on with you — and the other person has a basis for responding.
• A specific event.“I heard you had a defense — how did it go?” works better than “how are you in general”.

Topics that work in a call

If you haven’t talked in a while

• An event you know about: an exam, a move, a new job, a trip
• What has changed for you during this time — briefly, 30 seconds
• A question about a specific person or place you both know
• What you remembered about them and decided to call
• Plans for the next month

With loved ones and friends

• What was the strangest thing this week
• What went well and what didn't go so well
• What are you watching or reading right now
• What have you been thinking about most in recent days
• What do you want to try but haven't dared to yet

Business call

• Expected outcome: what should be decided by the end of the conversation
• Who does what and by when
• What can go wrong and how we check it
• When is the next contact

If the pause drags on

Three techniques instead of apologizing for silence.

1. Talk about yourself. «By the way, something happened to me this week…» — you give the other person something to latch onto.

2. Clarify what was said. «You said you moved — so how's the neighborhood?» The conversation returns to a detail the person mentioned themselves.

3. Say the pause out loud. «I got a bit lost in thought» — it relieves tension better than trying to urgently come up with a new topic.

«By the way, tell me, how are things with…» — the most reliable formula for restarting a conversation: it doesn't require a new topic, only attention to the past.

How to end a call

• With a summary: «Agreed: I'll send it on Wednesday, you'll look at it by Friday».
• With gratitude: «Thanks for making time — it was useful talking about X».
• With a plan: «I'll call next week and tell you how it went».

A sharp «okay, bye» reads as displeasure. A short formula closes the conversation respectfully and without explanations.

Frequently asked questions

What to talk about if you haven't spoken in a long time?

Start with a specific event you know about: “I heard you had a defense — how did it go?”. General questions like “how are you” give general answers.

How long should a phone call last?

As long as needed for the purpose of the call. A friendly call without a purpose — 10–20 minutes, a business one — 5–10. If the conversation goes on longer without reason, it’s probably time to wrap it up.

How do you end a conversation if it drags on?

State the reason and give a follow-up: “I need to run to a meeting, but let’s come back to this in the evening.” A reason plus a specific next step is a polite exit formula.

What should I do if the person talks for a very long time and I can’t get a word in?

Use a short interjection: “Wait, I want to clarify one thing.” A direct request for a pause works better than trying to interrupt.

How do I talk on the phone in English?

Keep 5–7 ready-made phrases at hand: “Could you repeat that?”, “Let me summarise”, “Can I come back to you on that?”. This takes away half the stress. More details in the article English practice.

How to practice phone conversations?

Say it out loud: call about something unimportant and notice where you get lost. Or go through a dialogue in the HintMeTalk AI simulator — it has scenarios for business conversations and introductions.

What's next

Take one question from the list and call someone you haven't talked to in a while — for a specific reason. It's easier than it seems, and it almost always ends better than expected.

A general collection of topics — what to talk about, talking with loved ones — topics for dates, and with a child — questions for children.